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Confessions of a Holiness Preacher

4/29/2011

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I am a holiness preacher. My dad was a holiness preacher. I come from a long line of men who believed, taught and lived the experience of holiness. I’ve studied it in seminary, wrote papers and essays on the subject, preached sermons about this experience of entire sanctification and even grieved over the lack of emphasis on it in our churches.


In April of 2004, however, I had an encounter with God unlike anything I had ever experienced. This encounter caused me to reevaluate what I believed about holiness and the experience of entire sanctification. Before anyone accuses me of heresy let me stop here for a minute to say that I believe in the sanctifying power of the indwelling Holy Spirit of God now more than ever.  

For several years I had been struggling with the issue of holiness. It was not that I didn’t believe in a second work. My problem was with the people I had encountered, many of whom sat in seminary along side me, who testified of the experience openly, but in secret, when the “masks” were off, struggled with sin just as much as people who didn’t believe in the work of holiness. I guess what disturbed me most is that, the more I saw this in others, the more I determined in myself to live a holy life. Yet the more I tried to be holy, the more I found myself lying at the feet of Jesus in failure. I was convinced that when I failed, it wasn’t because God hadn’t sanctified me, but because I had not spent enough time in prayer or the Word. Every time the Lord renewed me, I would rise more determined than ever to be the man God wanted me to be. 

This continued cycle of failure, victory and resolve, lead me to the place of desperation I found myself in as I drove down highway 36 two months ago. I had been dealing with attitudes in my life that I knew were not pleasing to God, but no matter how often I “consecrated” them to Him in prayer, I continually found myself repenting of them.

So alone in my car I began to have a very honest conversation with God. “Father,” I said, “I am tired of this and I don’t know what to do.” Then I said, “It’s not that I don’t trust You; I trust You completely. The problem is that I don’t trust myself.”

Then, in the secret places of my heart I heard God say, “And that, my son, has been your problem your entire Christian walk. You have trusted in your prayers of consecration and your ability to commit yourself to me to make you and keep you Holy. I know you believe I can do it. What I’m asking now is do you believe that I will do it?”

Then it happened. As my heart answered, “Yes Lord, I believe.” The Holy Spirit descended upon my car, and somewhere between Rockville and Danville, I encountered the living God in His sanctifying and liberating power! In an instant, the war was over. Attitudes I had unsuccessfully strived so hard to conquer, He destroyed with no effort. Battles I had fought my entire life, He ended without lifting a finger. For the first time in my life, I knew the meaning of the words, “If the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free.” This happened on a Wednesday. The preceding Monday morning, God had awaken me to tell me that He wanted me to preach on entire sanctification the following Sunday. Little did I know that He was planning to use me as the illustration.          

So what is different now? Prior to this encounter, my beliefs about holiness, though sound theologically, were based on what I had been taught and what I had been told I must have experienced. I had studied this doctrine throughout scripture and could effectively argue its biblical soundness and validity. I had prayed prayers of consecration to God and, though I didn’t feel sanctified, had accepted “by faith” that God must have done the work. And so, I had gotten up from the altar many times intensely determined to live the life of holiness.

Now I realize that this is something that we are unable to do but that God is more than willing to do if we let Him. He does sanctify, but not because we have prayed the right prayers, spent hours on our knees or had the strength to conquer temptation. He sanctifies because He promised us He would. Our part is to present ourselves as a sacrifice, but it is God who wields the knife.

Does this mean that I am perfect? I would like to say yes, but you may talk to my wife and find out otherwise. No, it means that I am dead. Do I have the strength to live a holy life? I repeat; I am dead! Dead people don’t have anything. Nor do they do anything. The life I live, I live in Christ through the Holy Spirit. The strength in me is not me it is God. Does temptation still knock on my door? You better believe it does! But now it is the Holy Spirit who answers and not me. And trust me, He is far more effective in dealing with temptation than I was.

Why do I write this? I write this to those who, like myself, have struggled with the doctrine of holiness their entire Christian walk; struggled, not because they didn’t believe it, but because they have hungered for it so much that in their desperation to reconcile what they believe with how they live, they have stopped short of the actual experience. Instead, they have settled for a holiness based on human effort and “spiritual acts” performed under the guise of faith and not on the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.

Let me assure you, the experience is real! I have come to know in a new way the truth of that old chorus,

            “There is a river that flows from deep within.

            There is a fountain that frees the soul from sin.”

There is freedom unlike any you have ever known! There is a work of grace that makes the heart content and ends the war of the soul! There is a living God who in one second can shatter chains you have spent your life trying to free yourself from! No only can He do it, but He wants to do it, and He will do it! And believe me, ‘If the son sets you free, you will indeed be free!”   


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Why Does It Matter? - The Issue of the Resurrection

4/23/2011

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A while ago I was watching a documentary on The Travel Channel about the historical birth of Jesus. It was one of those documentaries that was boring enough to make you want to find something else to watch, but interesting enough to catch your ear just as you were about to turn the channel. As I listened to the experts bicker back and forth about whether or not Mary would have been riding a donkey on the way to Bethlehem, I was struck with the absurdity of pondering such details about an individual’s life more than two thousand years after their death.

What was so special about a small Jewish baby, born illegitimately to a young Jewish peasant girl from nowhere, in the middle of nowhere? Why does he provoke such interest? What makes his life so significant? Is it because Jesus came to be the basis of the Christian religion? I don’t think so. When was the last time you saw a documentary debating the details of the birthplace of Mohammed, Gandhi or Buddha, or any religious leader for that matter? What is it then that sets Jesus apart from every other religious leader to the extent that we want to know every detail about every aspect of his life?

I believe the answer is that Jesus made preposterous claims about who he was and why he was here; claims that he was God incarnate; claims that he was the only means of salvation and eternal life; claims that he would die, come back to life, go to heaven and return again for those who love him; claims that we would laugh at if we could dismiss one thing: his resurrection; the report of millions of people throughout history that Jesus not only rose from the dead as he said he would, but that he is presently alive and active in their everyday life.

Were it not for the belief in his resurrection, the details of his birth and life would be relatively insignificant and unimportant. Alister McGrath observed that, “The uniqueness of Jesus was established by the New Testament writers through the Resurrection and the subsequent recognition that Jesus was none other than the living God dwelling among us.” 

What makes the question of the resurrection so important are the implications that are raised by its validity. It brings us face to face with that which transcends our understanding and forces us to deal with the reality of the existence of God. Doctor William Craig stated, “If Jesus of Nazareth really did come back from the dead, then we have a divine miracle on our hands and, thus, evidence for the existence of God.” 

Not only does this mean that God exists but that the claims of Jesus are true, and this God has made personal contact with man in such a manner that demands a response. In addition to this, if Jesus rose from the dead, then that gives undeniable supremacy and validity to the Christian faith. In fact, the resurrection of Jesus Christ is the single most important doctrine of the Christian faith. The significance of every other principle, teaching, and theological tenet within Christianity hinges on the validity of this great event. 

Having said that, let me say that I believe that the Resurrection is an event that is impossible to prove to everyone. What I mean by that is this:  you can present all the evidence in the world for the resurrection, (and there is a lot of it), and still not convince some. Even if you could produce the testimony of an eyewitness who was inside the tomb and literally saw Jesus begin to breathe, get up and walk out, you would still have those who deny its validity. Why? For some, it is easier to believe a lie rather than acknowledge the existence of a loving God who holds us accountable for our actions.

As for me, I am irrevocably convinced of the resurrection, not simply because of the undeniable evidence that points toward it. I am convinced that Jesus lives because of His daily presence in my life. I know Him, and what's more important is that He knows me. He is my Lord, Savior, Redeemer, and Commander in Chief. He is my Counselor, Comforter, and constant companion. He is my Sustainer and Strength. But what continues to amaze me day after day is that He is my best friend. He has been a friend to me when I was not a friend to Him. He has been faithful to me, even when my faithfulness to Him has wavered. Every promise He has ever made, He has kept unequivocally.  He is my passion and that which give my life meaning. Everything good in me He created, and everything bad in me He crucifies if I let Him. He truly is my all in all.

Luke Timothy Johnson said, “The resurrection experience that founded and that grounds the Church is not based on the transitory encounters of a few people on Easter day or for forty days thereafter, but on the experience of power through Jesus by generations of people across the centuries and continuing until today.”   

I think the old Hymn said it best, “You ask me how I know He lives? He lives within my heart.”


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"I Love You Daughter"

4/11/2011

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The following is one of my favorite poems written by my Mother:


I Love You Daughter

“I love you daughter,” He said to me
When the way was dark, no light to see.
“Don’t try to walk, but just stand still
That I may show you my perfect will.”
So I stood still as He spoke to me,
For the way was rough and I could not see.
Then I saw Him come in victory sweet
To guide with care my trembling feet.
As we walked along, He took my hand.
I’m glad I stood when He said stand.

“I love you daughter,” He said to me
When the way was bright, no clouds to see.
“Let’s walk today just you and I
Where loved ones fail and friends pass by.”
We walked together where the path was dim,
And He drew me tenderly close to Him.
My heart was broken, t’was a brier-strewn way.
But I’m glad I walked with Him today.


“I love you daughter,” He said today.
But I walked alone on the narrow way.
My body was sick with fevered pain.
There was no shelter from the chilling rain.
The way was dark, the mountains steep.
The stones were sharp that pierced my feet.
The burning tears that filled my eyes
Only hid from view the sunlit skies.
But then He came and walked with me,
And it mattered not that I could not see.


We often walk, just He and I,
Where loved ones fail and friends pass by.
Where chilly rains and winds that blow
Would harm for ere my ransomed soul.
Where raging storms would mar His grace,
And darkened clouds would hide His face.
But all of these can never harm,
When sheltered safe in His loving arms.
With Him beside me every day
I’d rather walk a brier-strewn way.
Of peace and joy naught can compare.
When Jesus walks beside me there.

                   by Marjorie H. Todd


 © Used by permission. All Rights Reserved

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Attitude

4/8/2011

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We are born into this world with nothing and when we die, we leave this world with nothing. The quality of the time spent between those two events depends largely on our attitude. My father taught me that you often can't choose the things that come your way in life but you can always choose the attitude you greet those things with. Life is filled with choices and those who succeed are not the ones who have never had problems, made mistakes, or experienced painful times. Rather, they are the ones who have looked into the face of those problems, mistakes and painful times and said, "I will learn from you. I will grow and not be defeated." Those who succeed are those who take nothing for granted and understand that everything they have has been given to them by God. They realize that in the hard circumstances in life there are lessons to be learned and that nothing is wasted if we learn to face it with thankfulness. What does it mean to be thankful? Thankfulness carries with it an innate understanding that life is a gift to be treasured. 

"Men ask for a rainbow in the clouds, but I would ask more from Thee. I would be in my cloud, myself a rainbow - to minster to others' joy." - George Matheson


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The Game

4/1/2011

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“Its not the work, I love the work. It’s the game.” This is the response Cuba Gooding Jr.’s character gives Anthony Hopkins’ character in the movie Instinct when posed with the question: “What is it that keeps you up at night and steals your peace?” The answer? “It’s the game.”

What is “The game”? Cuba explains: “I lie there and ask myself, ‘did I shake the right hands today?’ ‘Have I rubbed shoulders with the right people?’ ‘Have I made them like me enough?’” Call it Ambition, call it Networking, call it Influence, call it Politics. Slap any fancy name on it you want, but when all is said and done these names are merely synonyms of a common principle.

What is that principle? The movie calls it Dominion; the driving desire in the heart of man to be in control. To take what he wants. To be first. To win. It is this need for “Dominion”, the movie argues, that is the enemy of our peace. This striving to be master of our life, is the very thing that robs us of living.

As the credits of the movie were rolling on the big screen, I sat in the darkened theater and pondered the message I had just been given. I realized that there was something in this Hollywood production that tugged at my heart. A truth that hit the very essence of who I was as a person. I contemplated this concept of Dominion and why it had affected me like it did. Then I realized this is the very issue that Adam struggled with in the Garden of Eden.

When God created man, He gave him dominion over this world. The animals were his, the plants were his, the trees were his; the whole earth was God’s gift to man. He didn’t have to grasp for it. He didn’t have to compete for control. He didn’t have to fight for dominance. It was simply placed in his hands.

So what happened? He was deceived into reaching for the very thing he already had and in so doing, dominion slipped through his fingers. In striving to be master, he became a slave. What a paradox! In searching for what he already had, he lost it. He was created in the image of God. Genesis 1: 26 tells us that God made man like Himself, and yet it was the quest to be like God that robbed him of the very image of God he was.

Man trying to be God damned the whole human race. Isn’t it ironic then that God had to become man in order to save it. This is the very antithesis of what Adam did in the fall. It strikes at the heart of our sinful nature, but it captures the heart of our spiritual nature.

In Philippians 2:5-11, Paul admonishes, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him a name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” 


Do you see the principle? The submission of God became the glory of God. The surrender of man became the salvation of man. In grasping for our life, we lost it. To get it back, we must let it go. Submission is the heartbeat of the Christian life. You want peace – submit to God. You want joy – submit to God. You want victory – submit to God. You want to make a mess of things – keep striving for control. Once you understand this principle, Christ’s statement in Matthew 16:25 makes perfect sense: “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”

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    These are my whims, thoughts, musings, and reflections. Hopefully they will be an encouragement to you. 

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